Rubbernecking on Facebook

I'm dying to post the following as my status update, but never will because it would make so many people angry (at least the ones to which it applies.)

"I'd unfriend you, but it would rob me of the joy of complaining about your narcissistic cries for attention."

I, like most probably, got sucked into Facebook in the beginning, but realized it consumed way to o much of my time. Then I realized, after the novelty wore off, that I just didn't care about every flippin detail of the lives of people I barely knew and yet still called "friends."

Then I got my Droid. The pre-loaded Facebook app made it quick and easy to take a quick glance at whatever people were saying. I started looking at it just to distract myself from my own life and stresses. It gave me something else to focus on or think about.

I am weirded out by the number of people who post some of the most intimate details about their lives, or even the ones who post all of their activities at each moment. How do they have time to do that?? "About to watch two movies all alone, drink some wine, take a hot bath, and go to bed." "Had an excellent bowel movement this morning. THANK YOU broccoli!!"

Thankfully I've never actually seen the last one, but I wouldn't be the least bit surprised.

I could unfriend these folks, but frankly....it would rob me of the joy of complaining about them. I suppose it like watching Dr. Phil or Jerry Springer. You think, 'Wow...at least I'm not that guy!'

Recently a woman was complaining, right on Facebook for all her "friends" to see, about her husbands bathroom habits. (i.e. drips, not putting the seat up, etc.) How utterly humiliating that must have been for him. Another woman (I don't even know how I know her....same high school maybe?) is frequently complaining about her friends wrong-doings towards her and then essentially comes back with how great she is, and why is it so hard to just be as awesome as her.

I mostly roll my eyes at these and in some cases drop my mouth in shock. But, like Springer, it's kind of like a bad car wreck. You just can't look away.